Blizzard cuts costumer service staff from 25 to 10 ‘in the spirit of Cataclysm’

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some_textIrving, 16/F/CALI – Blizzard today announced their plans to immediately lay off 15 costumer service workers, severely dampening their ability to handle a swell of hacked accounts, but also mirroring their plans for their flagship World of Warcraft. “We’re always listening to our dev team, and their latest research seems to indicate a universe-wide mathematical anomaly, that 10 can equal 25, and so with Cataclysm and our costumer service staff it shall be,”  said CEO Mike Moreham.

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Coworkers surprise guy who designed ToC with coconut birthday cake, despite him being pretty clear on not liking coconut

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some_textIrving, CALIFUNIA – Blizzard employees waited halfheartedly for the guy who dreamed up ToC to enter the break-room, where they surprised him with a coconut birthday cake, even though he has repeatedly mentioned that he doesn’t like coconut. The guy behind ToC also noted that his boss had yet to talk to the guy in accounting who keeps parking in his spot. More

Grillers at Blizzard company picnic vague about when hotdogs will be released

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some_textIrving, California – Today Blizzard rewarded its employees for all their hard work on Cataclysm and Blizzcon, with a nice family picnic… unfortunately, somebody let the developers grill. Questions about the readiness of the food where answered only with “when they’re ready,” and “soon.” More

Blizzard forgets to mention new class at Blizzcon

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Reporting live from Blizzcon is our Blizzard beat reporter, Miss Betsy Finn.

Anaheim, COOLIFORNIA – As Mike Morhaime, Blizzard’s CEO, watched the last of this years Blizzcon attendees board a bus bound for the airport, he smiled contently. Then suddenly, his face became panic-stricken and he chased after the bus as it began to move down the street. More

Follow all the breaking Day 1 Blizzcon news with our Liveblog!

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Betsy Finn is our Blizzard correspondent, she will be covering Blizzcon on location! You can check back throughout the day for all the latest info, or at the end of the day for a wrap-up.

10:00 AM – Finally here on site, lots of people outside waiting eagerly, lots of guys checking me out, whatever, i roll like that

10:30 AM – People trickling inside, tons of anticipation.

10:50 AM – Most everyone inside now awaiting the start of the opening ceremony

11:02 AM – Its starting! I can hear music!

11:06 AM – HUGE roar from the crowd, trying to get someone to come outside to tell me what it was about

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New raid lockout system somehow keeps everyone out of Blizzcon

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Betsy Finn is our Blizzard correspondent, you can learn more about her here.

CALIFORNIAAAAA- Bewildered fans locked out of Blizzcon were left searching for a possible explanation, and were finally confronted with one, the new raid lockout system had somehow prevented them from entering the convention. More

Blizzcon food cart taunts fans from sunlight

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Image from MMO-Champion.com. Betsy Finn is our Blizzard correspondent.

Anaheim -CALIFORNIE – Hungry fans waiting in line for Blizzcon registration were forced to endure the taunting presence of the Blizzcon food cart, which waited just tantalizingly out of their reach in solid sunlight. More

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