Valley of the Watchers, TANARIS – One broom, one desert, one mission. 

Zone Revamp Review – Tanaris – Welcome to Professor Doomspackles zone reviews! As someone who has tried on numerous occasions to destroy the world, I feel it only fair to give credit to Deathwing. Hey, he may have actually made everything pretty much better, but at least he got something done. He had a cult following him, or elementals, or something. Im not really sure. Anyway even though it backfired I give him mad props for changing the world as we know it. Me? Well im like a wannabe writer who can’t finish or even start that first book. I long to destroy all traces of civilization from the known plane of existence but gosh darn it all if I can’t figure out how to even start. If I could just get that first nefarious plot out of the way, however small, maybe then I could get rolling.

Anyway, filled with some jealousy but mostly reverence toward the dragon of chin I have set myself out to explore and admire his sorta destruction.  I start with Tanaris, not the hardest hit zone but a good number of changes nonetheless.

Well Gadgetzan feels more like a city than a fort now, its much larger. The upper Eastern corner has been flooded and lots of goblins and gnomes alike are stranded in Steamwheedle Port. You’ll remember that as the port that never had any ships come in.

Blah blah blah blah then you get to valley of the watchers and I seriously snapped this photo of the Horde encampment there. Seriously Horde? A broom? In the desert? Whats it gonna do? Sweep the whole damn thing out to sea? Like for real blood elves?  Here’s some more pics:  I dunno, hey, maybe they know something I don’t(unlikely). Just sweep all that sand out of your camp and you’ll only be left with, oh more sand. Good job, really. In fact wont the sweeping just kick the sand into the air making this desert even more miserable then it already is? Whatever. Great job with the brooms. Its shocking that your race is addicted to magic when you HAVE MAGIC BROOMS THAT DO NOTHING.

Well anyway, thats the new Tanaris, enjoy.

– Professor Doomspackle is our Cultural Correspondent, you can learn more about him here.