some_textIrving, 16/F/CALI – Blizzard today announced their plans to immediately lay off 15 costumer service workers, severely dampening their ability to handle a swell of hacked accounts, but also mirroring their plans for their flagship World of Warcraft. “We’re always listening to our dev team, and their latest research seems to indicate a universe-wide mathematical anomaly, that 10 can equal 25, and so with Cataclysm and our costumer service staff it shall be,”  said CEO Mike Moreham.

The news shocked the employees, who for years were forced to listen to ignorant and naive wow players who believed that Blizzard was somehow responsible for their accounts being hacked, and were furious when complete restorations did not take place within their own personal time-lines. Now the remaining staff will have to do it with even fewer people.

But such things did not bother Blizzard higher-ups, who seemed positively giddy about their decision. “We’re having a disaster movie night, and a Cataclysm themed office party, and really just everything Cata around here, we want our employees to be as passionate and submersed as our fans.”

In Cataclysm, all raiding achievements, loot, legendaries, and special mounts will be 100% attainable in the 10 player versions of the instances, a move that some say will kill the 25 man large scale raiding scene. Blizzards decision to mimic that move could be a concerted effort to prove just how superior they think their ten man model can be. “Instead of having to juggle the work schedules of 25 people, now we only have ten to worry about, granted when one of them posts in the ‘Afk from working’ forum it could still be complicated.” said the CEO. When asked how often these employees work he said “2 days a week  for four hours a day, and possibly a third day if we are really close to resolving an issue.”

Blizzard also announced that next week they would pay their employees in badges.

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