some_textIrving, CALIFUNIA – Blizzard employees waited halfheartedly for the guy who dreamed up ToC to enter the break-room, where they surprised him with a coconut birthday cake, even though he has repeatedly mentioned that he doesn’t like coconut. The guy behind ToC also noted that his boss had yet to talk to the guy in accounting who keeps parking in his spot.

After quietly sobbing in the bathroom for 3 hours and then attending a raid design meeting where he was sent out for coffee, ToC guy was surprised by his coworkers with a coconut birthday cake of poor quality. The cake appeared to be very small and possibly from a gas station. After the initial surprise his coworkers burst into a version of  ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow’ that was quite chilling.

ToC guy, or James Carter, then returned to his desk to find that pretty much everyone in the office had been using his desk for office supplies instead of going to the closet at the end of the hall. He put on his sweater because his cubicle was moved to be the one right under the air conditioning a few months ago. He then went through the motions of doing work, but really just stared at his gray cubicle wall for the next six hours while doing just enough to avoid getting fired.

James had long been vocal about his disdain for coconut in the office, a fact that his coworkers claimed they simply forgot.   James loaded up the raid and dungeons forums on the official site and several unofficial ones and searched for any positive threads he might find in the archives but was unsuccessful.

He  ran through the common complaints and reassured himself that people hated it because the normal mode was too easy and they were testing a new raid lockout system that led to four separate versions of the raid that seemed to burn people out quickly. Those two things were not his fault, and were done by others.”It had no trash,” he muttered quietly to himself, “… people loved the Ring of Blood… I just….. I just don’t understand,” he went on to say, clearly still grappling with the truth a full 15 months after its initial release.

ToC guy then went home and found his friends and family waiting for him with a huge surprise party and his super hot wife waiting in lingerie in the bedroom. “Hell yes!” he yelled and then made furious yet gentle love to his wife several times before emerging from the bedroom and having some delicious leftover chocolate cake and discovered a magic lamp where a genie popped out and said he would grant him three wishes and everything was okay and he lived happily ever after. The End.